Cornbread
by CrazyMichelle
Summary: NaruSasu/SasuNaru, High School AU, warning for potential OOCness-- Naruto had always loved Sasuke, ever since he met him in his first year at Konoha High. But then Sasuke moved... Can he keep up their relationship?
1. Chapter 1: Baked Potato

**Summary:** { Naruto had always loved Sasuke, ever since he met him in his first year at Konoha High. He had even passed that one big hurdle of admitting it to the boy--and to his surprise had his feelings returned. But since then Sasuke's moved… And can Naruto really handle a long distance relationship? (NaruSasu/SasuNaru, AU, warning for potential OOCness) }

**Author's Note: **{ Okay… Just so you know, this has nothing to do with cornbread. XD Atari and I were brainstorming title ideas when she said "If you take something serious and mash it together with something corny, you get cornbread. And everyone loves cornbread." And I just thought that fit for this fit so… Viola. The title is born. :3 Lol.

This fic is written differently from how I usually write. Normally I take a long time and I carefully go over the wording, etc, before giving it to Atari to beta. This, I pretty much wrote in one sitting and didn't reread. So I apologize if the wording seems less then it could be. }

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_**CrimsonNostalgia has logged on.**_

**xxxRamen **(6:33 PM): Sasuke-kun~ *heart*

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:33 PM): hey

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:33 PM): *heart*

**xxxRamen **(6:34 PM): How are ya?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:35 PM): eh…

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:35 PM): okay i guess

**xxxRamen **(6:38 PM): …You okay?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:39 PM): …

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:39 PM): yeah im fine

**xxxRamen **(6:40 PM): Kay.

**xxxRamen **(6:41 PM): Are you busy or something then? Cause yer not typing like you usually do..

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:43 PM): no

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:43 PM): im fine

___

Naruto stared at the words, his brightly lit face gradually moving together in a frown. Was he seriously expected to believe that? He huffed, the exhaled puff of air warming his lips, and ran his hand through his currently wild hair. That teme… always keeping his feelings bottled up. How was anyone supposed to help him, or even understand him, if they didn't know what was going on? _Stupid Sasuke…_

He stared at the screen a few minutes more, blue eyes narrowed as he thought over what to say. At last, he sighed in resignation and touched his fingertips lightly to the keys. There was no use fighting the other boy… the blonde wouldn't get anywhere and would only end up in a fight with the youngest Uchiha. Naruto pursed his lips in frustration, before beginning to type.

___

**xxxRamen **(6:49 PM): Kay..

**xxxRamen **(6:50 PM): You can always talk to me about it if you don't feel fine though.. Just so you know…

**CrimsonNostalgia **(6:50 PM): kk

___

Another sigh slipped past his lips. It was going to be another of those nights, wasn't it? Those awkward, nearly silent nights that had his heart constricting with loneliness, his head swimming with annoyance and despair… Damn, he was starting to sound like Sasuke when he was in one of his emo writing moods. Was emo contagious? He sure as hell hoped not…

Naruto let his eyes wander about the room, searching for something to do. Boredom seemed to be eating him alive. Dammit, why did Sasuke have to be in one of his upset, non-talkative moods _now?!_ When he had nothing else to do but talk to the raven-haired bastard? Such perfect fucking timing…

The blonde growled at the computer screen. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. No, that wasn't right. He wanted to demand Sasuke to talk to him, to tell him what the fuck was wrong. But of course, he couldn't. It was unlikely Sasuke would actually explain anything and if Naruto yelled or got upset about it, it'd only lead to a fight. And he already knew what would happen after that. He'd attempt to be rightfully pissed, to ignore the stupid Uchiha and his stubborn ass, but eventually the silence would get to him and he'd come crawling back, begging for Sasuke to forgive him. Not that he _liked_ or _wanted_ to submit to the bastard… it's just the other boy was too damn stubborn to ever admit wrongness or anything and one of them had to if this was ever going to work. Naruto couldn't seem to last as long without Sasuke as the other could without him, so it was he who had to sacrifice… Although it sometimes hurt him to think that the other could have gone longer without his presence, while he couldn't…

Not that he'd ever admit that out loud, of course. He still had his pride. If anyone asked, he apologized first because he was the bigger man; a poor excuse, but an effective one nonetheless. Few people asked anyways, so he didn't have to use it that often.

"Hey kid! Get down here, or I'll eat your food!"

Naruto flinched at the sudden yell, spinning in his chair to glare at the doorway as he screamed back, "Yeah yeah, old man, I'm coming!" He stared at the door for a few moments, before turning back to the computer, settling back in his chair to type.

___

**xxxRamen **(7:27 PM): The old pervert's calling me down for dinner, BBL!

**CrimsonNostalgia **(7:27 PM): k

**xxxRamen **(7:28 PM): *heart*?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(7:29 PM): *heart*

___

Naruto smiled at the screen without really meaning to, though it was a small, crooked smile. At least Sasuke was still hearting him. Though he wasn't doing much else… He paused, having just stood up to head out of his room. He thought for a moment before he quickly typed something in, pressing enter as if he were attacking the key, and racing out of the room before he could see the small text at the bottom of the window flash the words "CrimsonNostalgia is typing…".

___

**xxxRamen **(7:32 PM): …….I want you to talk to me and tell me what's wrong when I get back, okay….? Going nows..

**CrimsonNostalgia **(7:33 PM): ……..

**CrimsonNostalgia **(7:35 PM): nothings wrong….

___

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner had taken longer then expected. Though a part of Naruto's mind was dreading to return, his original plan had been to eat quickly, then hurry back to the computer to talk to Sasuke. But as with most teenagers' plans, the adults had to make sure it wasn't that simple.

I mean, come on, he didn't have to go over _every single little_ scrap of homework. True, Naruto hadn't done most of it, and rarely ever did, but did that mean Jiraiya had to check him every night to make sure it gone done? …Don't answer that.

The boy grumbled curses under his breath as he shut his door, a little harder then he had meant to. Stupid adults and their stupid responsibilities… His eyes remained downcast, glaring daggers at the floor as he walked over to his desk, tossing his homework papers in the general direction of his bag. He was halfway through typing his apology to Sasuke when the tanish, italicized text caught his eye, so different from Sasuke's dark blue or his vibrant, neon orange, and he let his hands fall to his lap in disbelief.

___

**CrimsonNostalgia **(9:03 PM): i think… im going 2 bed

**CrimsonNostalgia **(9:03 PM): nite

**CrimsonNostalgia **(9:04 PM): ..ily

_CrimsonNostalgia signed off at 9:05 PM_

_CrimsonNostalgia is offline. They will receive your messages when they next sign in._

___

Blue eyes were glued to the screen, the first few tan words specifically, for several minutes. His brain didn't seem to want to process this information; all he could do was gape. Sasuke… signed off? Before he had gotten a chance to talk to him, to actually get some answers, the bastard _signed off_?!

The muscles around his eyes seemed to tense as his body debated between being extremely hurt or enraged. It finally settled on a medium: hurtfully pissed off. His hand pretty much smashed against the mouse as he went to shut down his computer, arm so tense it was shaking because he was trying so hard to prevent himself from leaving his stupid ass boyfriend some nasty offline IMs. Once the red button was clicked that would terminate the computer's power, he flew out of the seat and all but threw himself down on his bed in anger. Fucking dumbass, dickhead Sasuke. He was going to give the bastard a piece of his mind when he talked to him next…

No, called a tiny part of the blonde's mind, you won't. And it was right. Naruto couldn't stay angry that long… Especially if Sasuke happened to be in a better mood the next time he came online. Then he'd be so happy things were good again that he'd forget all about his anger… That's what always happened. Naruto crossed his arms tightly to his chest, feeling his anger grow.

What he had to fucking go through for love…


	2. Chapter 2: French Fries

Naruto woke with a growl, flipping over onto his back and blinking up at the ceiling before turning his eyes to glare at the blaring alarm clock that had roused him. He considered chucking something at it, but decided against it, instead rolling to his feet to shuffle over and hit its off button. He stood there for several moments as he fought to stay awake, using his hand on the clock as a lever to keep himself from falling

Ugh, school days. How bothersome. Why did school have to start so horribly early anyways? It's not like there was any rush… He let a long sigh escape from past his lips as he blinked groggily at the wall before moving to stumble about his room in pursuit of clean clothes. Naruto was unorganized by nature; sorting through his mess of a room could take weeks. He moved through it like a native through their homeland, though, and in less then fifteen minutes was clothed and ready to go.

Vivid blue eyes cut across to the glowing digits of the clock. Only 4:43. He could go back to sleep. With a grateful grin, he stumbled over and set his alarm before plopping back down on his bed to submit himself to the simple, wondrous joys of sleep.

When Naruto awoke again it was much easier to get up, whether from having gotten up earlier, or having a time constraint, he wasn't sure. Swiftly he threw on his shoes , grabbed his bag, and headed out the door, doubling back for his homework which had almost been left, forgotten, on the floor.

A typical morning routine.

The bus ride to school wasn't that unique either. Just the same old twenty minute drive, spent in the same old seat, staring out the same old window, in the same old half-asleep state, the same old scenery passing by… The same old, almost desperate, daydream about the same old boy. Little had changed since Sasuke had left except, perhaps, an undertone of sadness that accompanied the usual school time routine and an air of something missing…

The halting of the bus and the sudden glare of bright lights had Naruto sitting up in his seat, adjusting his bag and getting ready to stand. They had arrived at school. It was still early, the sun had yet to fully rise, so artificial lights had to light up the halls and pathways. Stepping down from the bus, he merged with the mass of zombie-like students lumbering along. Then a speeding blur tackled him and he spun off into the dew covered grass.

"EH?!" He shouted as his balance wavered under the weight of his attacker. "What the fuck?"

"'Ey, Naruto!" The rough, loud voice of one Kiba Inuzaki was almost too much to bare this early. The blonde glared at the brunette, grumbling insults under his breath.

"Whatdya want, Kiba? S'too early…" The dog-lover grinned, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, common, what's got you so grumpy, man?" The two continued to walk, Kiba leading Naruto forward.

"Mrr…tired."

"How many hours of sleep d'ya get?"

"Uh…" Naruto was silent a moment as his face scrunched in thought. "Maybe… three?"

"Dude! You know you need at least 5 hours or you don't function! What the fuck'd you stay up doing?"

"…Well, Sasuke was kinda…"

"Sasuke again? Shit man, what happened this time?"

Naruto hesitated, biting his lip. Should he tell Kiba? He didn't need to share all the personal details of his life with everyone, but… Kiba was a good friend, though, one of his best after Sasuke and Gaara, and the only one that currently lived here… And talking to someone would help him feel better, right? "Well… Last night, he was in other of those moods. Ya know, when he doesn't talk, like, at all? And I tried asking him what was wrong but he denied everything and said he was 'fine'."

Kiba snorted, rolling his eyes. "Of course he did. Ain't that what he always does?" He leaned forward to lock eyes with the blonde. "Is that what yer so concerned about that you can't sleep?"

"No… Well, not entirely." Naruto began, averting his eyes. "It's more… I had to go to dinner, right? So I told him I'd be back later. Then I said I wanted him to talk to me when I got back. But when I came back he had signed off."

"Dude! The asshole! Want me to bitch him out for ya tonight? I'll be glad ta."

"No, no! It's okay! He probably didn't do it on purpose. He was probably just tired and couldn't stay up and wait any longer. I'm not going to get mad at him for something he can't help… I can't expect him to stay on just to talk to me when he has more important things to do like sleeping…" Naruto fell silent, staring at the ground. Why was he defending him? It didn't make sense. He had a right to be angry, right? But… what if what he had said were true? He furrowed his brows in frustration at his conflicting thoughts and emotions.

It always ended up like this… This was why he never said anything, never tried to be dominant or the slightest bit pushy. Never tried to assert the rights that significant others should have. Because his mind fed him two different sides, two different stories that contrasted against each other. One said that he should be angry, that he should tell Sasuke off the next chance he got and force him to explain himself. The other side was cautious… scared. Afraid that if he did that, Sasuke would rebel and… react in a way that would hurt. Severely. Perhaps even break up with him. That part of his mind panicked, made up excuses for Sasuke's actions. Possibly truthful ones, but they were excuses nonetheless, things his mind told him to prevent ever even having to chance something as dreadful as Sasuke leaving him to happen. And since he rejected that thought with his whole mind, body, and soul, that side of his mind was always the one to win.

"What the hell, man? You seriously need to grow some balls, dude. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you have to be a pussy. You need to tell him what a dick he's being and that he needs to treat you better." Kiba growled, narrowing his eyes at Naruto, though his annoyance was more so directed elsewhere. The blonde mumbled something that was neither acceptance nor denial before glancing up, startled at the sound of the school bell. The two said their temporary farewells, Kiba promising to continue this conversation in their shared second block. The blonde said nothing to that, turning to walk the hall that led to his first class.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Naruto sat with his chin in his hands, doing his best not to fall asleep while his history teacher rambled on about some uninteresting topic. His head jerked as he almost nodded off for the fifth time in the last hour. With determination, he sat up straight in his seat. He couldn't be caught napping in class again… He'd already been warned several times by his teacher that were he to be caught again, he'd be given a referral. Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, he discreetly glanced around the room. There _was_ one thing that he could do to ensure his consciousness…

Certain the teacher was too far into his lecture to pay more attention then a quick glance to the students, he carefully pulled his phone from his pocket. Hitting the '2' key and scrolling down to highlight the 'Send Text Message' option, he began to slowly type.

_Hey Sasuke-kun. *heart* Goodmorning. Whatcha doin'? I'm trying to stay awake in History. o.x Lol._

He hit send and gently shut his phone before carefully concealing it in his lap to wait for an answer. He nearly jumped when the device in his lap vibrated, forgetting to expect the feeling. His cheeks began to turn the lightest of pink in embarrassment and his light blue eyes flicked from side to side, hoping no one had noticed. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized they didn't, before opening his phone.

_Morning, dobe. *heart* Pay attention to your class, lol. I'm trying to finish these German translations, but eh. Text me back, cause I'll be done soon, then I'll be bored._

Naruto felt the smile stretch across his face without conscious thought as he read and replied.

_Hehe, you know I can't. :3 Lol. So… you feeling better?_

He quickly stashed his phone away as the teacher turned his gaze towards him, managing to click the send button before hiding it out of sight. It was several minutes after he felt the telling vibration that he chanced taking it out again.

…_Better? What do you mean? I've been fine.._

Naruto's eyes scanned the text a few times, his facial muscles reacting again without thought, but this time pulling into the lines of a frown. Was he still being lied to…? He stared at the small, lit-up screen a few moments longer, almost forgetting he was in a classroom. Then, at last, he slid his phone into his pocket without responding, his mind currently in conflict with itself. What could he say to that?

He stared blankly ahead, hearing nothing, his mind swirling with thoughts. It was one thing for Sasuke to lie and pretend everything was fine when he was actually upset, it was a whole other to continue to lie afterward…But was that what was actually happening?

Goddammit, he didn't know. And although he did care, cared for nearly all he was worth, he had no idea what to do. His lips slowly pursed as his eyes focused on the student in front of him without really seeing them.

He was finding it harder and harder each day to not explode with frustration.


	3. Chapter 3: Macaroni

"What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Shit, give me your phone. I'll text him for you."

"No, it's fine. I'll reply."

"Do it, then, dude."

"I will. Geez…"

"Do it now."

"Kiba! Let go of my phone!"

"I'm going to text him for you!"

"Kiba! I'm not kidding, let go!"

A game of tug-of-war ensued as the poor cellphone was pulled back and forth between the two. Kiba had always been bossy and impatient… With a final hefty tug, Naruto freed the phone from the other's grasp and glared at his friend, miffed. The brunette matched the annoyed stare with his own.

"So, you gonna text him now, or??"

The blonde merely narrowed his eyes, allowing Kiba to feel the full weight of his annoyance. But a few moments later, with a small huff, he flipped up his phone, hitting Sasuke's speed dial number and sending him an ellipses. Once complete, he looked up, blue eyes swimming with irritation.

"There, you happy?? Can I dress out now?"

Kiba looked back with a triumphant grin as he pulled out his own set of gym clothes and jokingly said, "Only if you call me Master."

Naruto punched him before he, too, turned toward his locker to retrieve the bland grey shirt that bore his full name written in dark blue marker across the chest along with almost neon orange shorts. Kiba was laughing, his short, harsh chuckles almost sounding like barks, as the blonde set his gym clothes on the bench beside him and pulled up his shirt, beginning to undress. Around them, male students were chatting lightly as they switched from their everyday school clothes to those more suited for exercising in. A wolf-whistle sounded from behind the two friends as their tops were removed. Naruto flung his shirt aggressively in the direction of the noise.

"Shut the fuck up, Sai."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_What?_

Naruto stared at the word. He was in English class now, his phone hidden from the view of the teacher. He had read the reply, but hadn't believed at first that it was the only text he had gotten. But… He checked his messages three times and that was it.

…Was that all he had to say? He didn't… He wasn't even going to add another word or two? Just a simple "what"?

…_You're lying to me…|_

He watched the line blink for several seconds. Did he want to do this? What if Sasuke got mad? Naruto'd be upset then, he knew he would. But… it hurt him knowing he was being lied to. That his own boyfriend wasn't open to him… didn't trust him enough. Weren't they supposed to trust each other? Even with the not-so-pleasant things? Naruto was still for a few more moments before his thumbs began to move again and type once more.

_You're lying to me so you can pretend whatever happened didn't… Why? You can't just… tell me?_

He hit send and then waited. Waited while the people, the room, around him still moved, still went on with their everyday routine. But he noticed nothing beyond the rectangle of light in his lap. His eyes focused gradually more and more until the brightly colored background became nothing more than a blur of pixels and it almost seemed as if he was trying to look _through_ the phone, straight through the glass, metal, and plastic to where the little electronic signals radiated. His mind took over from that point, his imagination riding the invisible signals up, up past the atmosphere to a satellite where it was aimed then shot back down towards the earth into the long, elegant body of a teal juke.

His mind hit a bump there. What did Sasuke look like now? He knew the sleek shine of obsidian eyes would reflect against the glass of the screen… And he knew the boy's facial features, the curve of his nose, the swell of his lips, but… Had he changed his hairstyle? It had been months since he last saw him… Had he grown it out? Or perhaps he had cut it? …Colored it? No. No, he wouldn't have altered that gorgeous black color, so dark that light made it shine blue. He couldn't have…

Naruto's brow furrowed as his imagination ran off with the idea of Sasuke with different hairstyles and colors. He looked… absolutely ridiculous. There was no way that could happen. In his mind, either Sasuke kept his duck butt hairstyle he had left with, or it just wasn't Sasuke. The face would melt together into a featureless blob with hair. A lifeless doll wearing a wig. He had to think of his boyfriend as he remembered him, before he moved. Hair short and spiked in the back, and bangs long and thrown in his face like a veil. A thing to hide behind…

He just loved hiding, didn't he? Loved playing the part of Mr. Dark and Mysterious, huh?

_Lying about what? I've got nothing to lie about._

Naruto narrowed his eyes, vivid blue slits of annoyance aimed at the words on the screen. His thoughts spun and collided into a squirming mass of frustration within his head as his fingers began to work furiously at the keys of his phone.

_Lying about how you feel. You always do that. You always hide your emotions and stuff and make me have to push to get any information. You act like you feel okay when you don't. That's lying._

His breathing was notably heavier as he finished and viciously hit the send button without going over what he had said. Noticing the quickened pace, he breathed in deeply to slow it and glanced around the room, blinking a few times as if coming out of a trance. No one was paying him any mind, everyone around him was far too engulfed in their own conversations as they went through "group study time". Naruto's eyes fell down to his desk. He flipped open the book in front of him to a random page, not to read it, but just in case someone glanced over at him it looked more like he was doing something productive. His hand slid back under his desk as his phone vibrated.

_But I normally do. I'm normally fine._

The blonde let air out through his nose in a huff.

_Oh? Recently you haven't been. I can tell, you know. And whenever you really don't, you still act like you do in order to hide it._

Two minutes after it was sent, there was a reply.

_Idk. I'm always fine, though. So ehh._

Naruto hit the reply button too quickly, frowning at the blank white screen, and went back to his inbox to reread the message. "Idk"? "Ehh"? What the hell…? Was Sasuke purposely acting ignorant and annoying in order to avoid admitting the blonde was right, or was he really that much of an apathetic ass?

_No, you're not. You just say you are._

Denial. It was always denial. Sasuke would never admit anything without a fight. So he would. If it took a fight, then so be it… He was so tired of trying to be patient. Trying to be understanding. To consider how Sasuke felt. It was time that the bastard consider how Naruto felt for a change.

_And if I say it and believe it enough, that makes it true._

Naruto felt his hands tense and twitch as he struggled to keep his expression neutral, his body relaxed. He had to be calm. He was still in school.

_No. It doesn't. It just means your lying to yourself!_

He all but attacked the send key, tossing his phone mercilessly into his open bag that lay beside his desk. No more. He couldn't handle talking to Sasuke anymore right now. He was in school, he couldn't lose control. Not in front of everyone. All these people… No. He couldn't. He couldn't even read Sasuke's reply lest he be tempted, taunted, into continuing the conversation. No, he'd wait. Wait until he was out of school, until he was at a place where he could be upset…

His breathing was erratic again. Working on regulating it, he let his eyes run over the open books of those nearest him. Might as well get to work… What page were they on? 370? He flipped back a few chapters in his own text, scanning the title.

Rikki-Tikki-Tavi

The picture of a long furry creature, curled around the neck of a young boy like a scarf, grinned up at him. A mongoose? Looked like a weasel. Weasel… Itachi… Sasuke…

No! He had to concentrate. Determined, he began to read. He was doing quite well too, until he got down to the appearance of Nag the cobra, which made him think of Orochimaru, the cold-hearted pedophile creep who Sasuke had been afraid was stalking him at one point…

Damnit! He slammed his textbook shut with a huff. This wasn't working. Was there nothing that wouldn't eventually remind him of Sasuke? He sighed, the exhale long and hard, and pressed his palms to his eyes in frustration. Green and orange spots began to dance behind his eyelids and he watched them with a sort of bored fascination. They began to make interesting sorts of patterns, blinking in and fading out and swirling…

"N-Naruto-kun…?"

The soft inquiry was almost drown out by the chatter of their classmates. Unsure if he had heard correctly or not, the blonde lifted his head and glanced up.

His vivid blue eyes met pale lavender. He blinked and started, jerking out of his stress-induced near comatose.

"Oh! Hinata."


	4. Chapter 4: Ham

"Oh, hey, Hinata. What's up?" Naruto smiled, lips pulling back in a friendly grin. Or, at least, what he hoped was a friendly grin. Was he smiling, or was the forced expression more of a grimace? Did his tenseness show in his eyes? How much of what he was really feeling was being shown?

Hinata smiled back somewhat nervously, cheeks a light shade of pink.

"Hi, um… I just noticed you weren't studying with anyone and… Uh… wondered if you would mind… if I…" She muttered, words gradually becoming weaker and weaker in volume until they were barely audible.

Naruto's brows were furrowed as he strained to catch every uttered word. As the girl's voice faded into an embarrassed hush and she adverted her eyes to the floor, he jumped eagerly in to complete her sentence.

"Hm? Studied with me? Oh, sure, I don't mind! But, uh, just so you know I haven't really read the assignments yet, so…" He let the sentence die unfinished, a hand moving to rub the back of his head in slight embarrassment. His smile, this time, came naturally, unforced. Talking with a friend was a welcome distraction; he slipped into the conversation with ease, pushing thoughts of Sasuke to the back of his mind to mull over later.

"O-oh, that's okay!" Hinata said quickly, waving her hands frantically almost as if she could shoo away his worries, "I can give you a summary… if you want?"

Naruto nodded eagerly. He allowed the girl's soft, albeit stuttering, voice to wash over him, absorbing her words yet allowing them to soothe him at the same time. She did have such a kind voice, one suited for a mother, a gentle caregiver. Someone to calm you and chase your worries away…

He was so grateful to her that day for distracting him. So grateful, though he wouldn't openly admit to it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Naruto had gone straight to his room upon arriving home. Jiraiya worked late, so he wouldn't have to worry about him nagging for the boy to do his homework for hours yet. Which gave him time… to deal with a few things…

His bag lay tossed on the floor near his desk. He watched it warily for several minutes before he finally gathered the courage to enter it and retrieve his phone. It took him another two before he finally opened it to check his messages.

…Nothing…

Sasuke hadn't replied. Hadn't even sent an ellipses. The blonde was both relieved and slightly hurt. Had he angered the other boy? Naruto flopped down heavily into his desk chair, pressing the power button of his CPU and sighing as the screen blinked to life. He doubled clicked the red AIM bubble icon almost as soon as his desktop appeared, then sat back and waited for it to load.

His eyes quickly scanned his buddy list as it appeared.

Sasuke was online…

Naruto double clicked on his boyfriend's username, only to star at the screen. What should he say? What could he say, after knowing what they had spoken about before? He sighed softly, before positioning his fingers over the keys.

**xxxRamen **(3:56 PM): Hey…

**CrimsonNostalgia **(3:56 PM): Hi. :3

**CrimsonNostalgia **(3:56 PM): What's wrong?

**xxxRamen **(3:57 PM): I shouldn't have to answer that.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(3:58 PM): o.o?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(3:58 PM): Okay…?

**xxxRamen **(3:59 PM): You never responded to my text…

**CrimsonNostalgia **(3:59 PM): Oh, sorry. o.o;

**xxxRamen **(4:00 PM): …

**xxxRamen **(4:03 PM): …And?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:03 PM): And what? o.o

**xxxRamen **(4:04 PM): Anything else?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:04 PM): o.o?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:04 PM): Like what?

__

Naruto stared at the screen in disbelief. Sasuke could be so… so _stupid_ sometimes. He could feel the first flickers of anger lapping at his gut, searching for something to hold onto so that they could grow. He attempted to push them back, but with much difficulty. A few managed to bleed out into his fingers and taint his words with annoyance.

__

**xxxRamen **(4:05 PM): Like a reply, maybe?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:06 PM): I don't have anything to say.

__

There was another moment where Naruto gazed open-mouthed at the screen. He didn't have anything to say? How could he _not have anything to say?_ The blonde ground his teeth together, fingers pressing into the desk so hard his joints were turning white.

__

**xxxRamen **(4:11 PM): Nothing? No denial, no response at all? Not even an "Eh" or something to show you got it?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:12 PM): Why would I do that? Lol.

**xxxRamen **(4:14 PM): Gee, I dunno. Maybe to not come off as rude and to actually let me know you got my text, rather then having me waiting all day for nothing? And if you were referring to my denial statement, that's what you've done in the past whenever I've said something like that.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:14 PM): If you know how I'd answer, why bother?

**xxxRamen **(4:15 PM): Because it's a conversation! I'm speaking to you, not myself, I need actual answers from you!

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:16 PM): Eh. There. Happy now?

__

Naruto's mind took that moment to go on a temporary vacation. Apparently today was the day to cash in all that stored vacation time. Or maybe his brain was starting to go haywire. That could very well be a cause. What with all this confusion and stress, it's a wonder it hadn't exploded already…

Instead of thoughts, the chasm of his skull was filling with emotions; things much too complex and primitive to be described with mere movements of the tongue. A deep pain skewered the boy through the chest, rushing up to choke his throat and invade his eyes until there wasn't enough room within and they began to leak out as hot tears.

_God damn that bastard._

At the thought, the emotional wound within burst into flame. His blood was heated and rushed through his veins as if it was trying to break out of his skin. He felt his muscles twitch, felt a tingle electrify his body, the urge to break, maim, destroy, injure growing stronger in his hands. He held them in fists crossed over his chest, nails digging into his palms just enough to sting, but not enough to penetrate the skin. He sat like that for several minutes until at last he regained some control over his limbs. But the mastery was fleeting. Merely touching the keys brought his emotions to an uproar, rebelling against his logic and self-control. He quickly replied, before pulling his arms back once more, restraining them against his chest and each other.

__

**xxxRamen **(4:27 PM): No. Far from.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:29 PM): Well, not my fault.

**xxxRamen **(4:29 PM): Yes, actually, it is.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:30 PM): Oh? Do tell.

**xxxRamen **(4:32 PM): I shouldn't have to. It's pretty fucking obvious. And quite honestly, I'm too pissed off to right now to even try.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:33 PM): Then it must not be.

**xxxRamen **(4:35 PM): Wtf?! And how'd you come to that conclusion?

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:35 PM): If you can't tell me how it's my fault, then it must not be my fault. It's logic.

**xxxRamen **(4:36 PM): That's not logic. -.-

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:36 PM): Prove me wrong, then.

__

Naruto gritted his teeth, gripping his mouse so hard it's hard outer shell was threatening to crack. How… how _dare_ he? How dare that conniving, manipulative _bastard_ try to trick his way into winning the argument? Fucking bitch ass _motherfucker…_

His breath was coming in short, rapid bursts, circulating past his teeth like hisses. The tracks of tears were caked on his cheeks; there was little excess liquid left to allow for more to roam freely down his face just yet. Hastily, with almost violent keystrokes delivered through blurry vision, he typed in his last reply…

__

**xxxRamen **(4:40 PM): Fine. What the fuck ever. Think whatever the fuck you want to, I don't care anymore. I'm done. Don't talk to me. Bye.

__

…before furiously pushing the power button for his monitor. The room was instantly consumed in darkness but for the green glow of his CPU to remind him that his computer was still on though he could no longer see the screen. He watched it for a moment, absorbing the silence. It hurt less in the darkness. Perhaps because then, one could never really be sure if he were still awake. Was he? Was this really happening, or had his overactive imagination decided to rebel and turn against its owner?

He pushed his chair back quickly, getting to his feet and stumbling back away from the desk, away from the cause of hurt, away the morbid curiosity that tempted him to turn the screen back on, to open himself up to more pain merely to sate his hunger for contact with his merciless love. His breath caught as his back slammed against the side of his bed. With a whimper that was hardly more audible than a whisper, he lifted himself up using it as support to climb onto it and curl up in a corner, surrounded by mounds of blankets and pillows. Pulling his knees up to his chest he rested his cheek on one, head turned to continue staring at the neon green glow that was the brightest, most noticeable light in the room. He concentrated on it as his thoughts ran circles in his head, as the time passed and the seconds turned into minutes turned into… how long had it been? Long enough for the tears to replenish and begin racing from his overflowing eyes to dampen his legs and the sheets beneath them. Long enough for his thoughts to shift the blame and accusations from Sasuke back to him. The muscles in his stomach clenched, sending him bending forward as he tried to shield, unsuccessfully, from the barrage of insults, curses, and damnations that came from his own mind.

_It's not my fault!_ Naruto wanted to scream, though the words came out more as a garbled cry that was soon muffled as the blonde sank his teeth into the fabric of his jeans, the sound bouncing off the solid flesh of his leg and dying in his mouth, hardly heard. He bit down harder as his mind kept up the assault. The feeling, though it didn't make his pain any less, deflected some of the emotional pain and made it physical, which was, in a way, a relief of sorts. Physical harm was easier to deal with then that of the mind; all one had to do was apply medication and allow time and the physical wounds would eventually heal. Emotional pain was a different matter, nowhere near as simple to cure.

It was several minutes before the boy released his hold on his own leg. Sobs trickled out as he did, the high pitched whines like those of an injured animal. His head turned towards his desk, breath catching as he paused and watched the machine perched on it as if it may come alive and attack him. When it didn't, he slowly advanced towards it, taking short breaks in which he merely stopped and waited for several moments before proceeding. The longest of these stops occurred directly in front of the screen, hand poised to press that single, circular button just below the glass of the screen. A tear inched its way out of the corner of his eye and tumbled towards the floor.

Slowly, he pressed inwards. The device made a high-pitched sound as it came back to life, momentarily blinding the blonde, who instinctively cringed away from the harsh light. He blinked rapidly as his pupils adjusted. Then, lowering his arm that had been shielding his eyes, he allowed his shining blue eyes to slide down to the lowest strip of dark blue text.

__

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:42 PM): Alright then I guess I'm logging off. Talk to you later.

**CrimsonNostalgia **(4:47 PM): …Or not.

_CrimsonNostalgia signed off at 4:54 PM_

_CrimsonNostalgia is offline. They will receive your messages when they next sign in._

__

A sob tore through his body as he noticed the tan text. He leaned on the desk to prevent himself from falling, mind racing. No, no… Sasuke couldn't have left. He needed him. He needed him now. His eyes flicked around the room at an alarming speed , falling down upon his cell phone that he had abandoned earlier when he had noticed no replies. Franticly, he reached for it, snatching it from the smooth, darkened wood and cradling it to his chest as if it were a holy thing. After a moment, he lumbered over to his bed, perching upon it and holding his phone up to illuminate his face, half distorted with panic. Trembling fingers began to hit keys, missing most of their targets and trying again and again until it was right. He inhaled sharply as the text sent, falling back to lay on the bed, curling into the fetal position, phone close to his face.

_Sasuke..?_

Patiently he waited, panic and pain ebbing and flowing like the tide at first until more than five minutes had passed and he began to grow anxious. He needed an answer, needed it like air. Like the blood in his veins. He needed the one he loved, the raven-haired, onyx-eyed boy with his cold stare and bored voice, to tell him everything was alright. That he was forgiven and that the other male himself was sorry and that things were good again… He needed it. His eyes narrowed to sorrowful half moons, praying for that one message. Just once… Just once could Sasuke do that? Show he cared like that and that he didn't want to fight…? He stared intensely at electronic held in his shaking palm, trying to send a sort of telepathic message through the device. Trying to send his desperateness and need for comfort to someone who was many miles away.

In time, he fell asleep, tears glittering like jewels in the corners of his eyes, waiting for something that would never come.


	5. Chapter 5: Peas

The harsh pounding on his bedroom door echoed harshly through the previously silent, dark room. The mound that was the sleeping Naruto shifted and groaned. When a rough, annoyed calling followed the rapping, eyelids lifted to reveal blue bloodshot eyes. He blinked groggily, lifting himself with an arm as he responded with a yell to his guardian

"Naruto! Hey you lazy ass kid, get out here before I eat all the food! I won't wait for you, I have research to do!"

"Eh… I'm up ya pervert! And porn isn't research…"

He grumbled the last bit as he crawled to the edge of the bed, dangling his feet over as he rubbed his eyes. When had he fallen asleep? A glance downward at the cool rectangular object brushing the side of his hand gave him his answer. Memories of what had happened came rushing back, setting the blonde's face to a still seriousness. He stared at his phone for a moment, before flipping it over to check his alerts. The lack of one didn't surprise him. His face remained an almost pained neutral and he sighed, forcing himself up and walking over to the door.

Jiraiya had long since abandoned the teen's doorway, returning to the kitchen and the food. Before heading after him, Naruto walked halfway down the hall before entering a door to his left, the bathroom. He didn't need to go or anything, but he thought it was best he looked himself over before being seen.

The mirror was streaked with stains from water, but his reflection was clear enough. He looked horrible. His eyes were puffy, his cheeks stained with the dried-up roads his tears traveled. Looking at the remnants of his crying, he began to wonder what he had looked like during… Images appeared in his head soon after the thought, memories from times past when he had been able to see his emotional reflection. Flashes of red eyes that wouldn't seem to stop leaking, a dripping nose, and endless wrinkles that distorted and corrupted his face into a mask of ugly despair came to mind. Slowly a hand came up to touch his cheek, a finger tracing one of the crusty trails. He looked so horrid, so ugly and disgusting… no wonder Sasuke didn't care. Who could care about an ugly thing like this…?

"Naruto!"

The yell snapped him out of his thoughts. With one last look at the mirror, he turned on the faucet and began to wash his face, to wash away the traces of pain he had endured not too long ago. It took him several minutes until he was satisfied and exited the bathroom to follow the call for him.

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least. The teen kept his eyes on his plate, appearing to eat slowly but always being sure to keep his mouth full as a sort of excuse as to why he wasn't talking. He was sure Jiraiya knew what he was doing, though; he could feel his guardian's eyes on him nearly the whole time. The old man said nothing, though, and for that Naruto was thankful. If forced to use an excuse, he knew it'd be a weak one, transparent and easily dismissed. After all, the other knew him well enough to know when something was amiss.

Jiraiya cleared his throat loudly, causing the blonde to look up and catch his gaze awkwardly. His mouth opened slightly, but before he could apologize the adult cut him off.

"I'll be working late tomorrow. There'll be leftovers in the fridge." He said shortly as he rose, the clatter of dishes echoing his words. He set them in the sink, before turning back, waiting for a reaction to show that he had been heard. Naruto nodded, scooping the last of his dinner into his mouth. When he looked up again, Jiraiya was gone from the room.

The blond's shoulders sagged in relief, facial muscles pulling down into a frown, as if now that his guardian was gone he could show his inner emotion again. He washed the dishes like a robot, limbs merely moving through programmed motions. It was almost 8 o'clock when he finally dragged himself back to his room.

~*~*~*~*~

The glare of his clock seemed out of place in the otherwise overwhelming darkness. He grumbled, rolling over in his bed and trying to ignore it for a few more minutes before finally it became too much of a nuisance and he threw his shirt over it with a growl, pulling a blanket up over his now naked upper body. Still that did nothing to ease the frustration bubbling up in his stomach that had less to do with his sudden inability to sleep and more to do with the lack of communication in his relationship at this time. Yet again he grabbed his phone and checked his inbox with the ferocity of a lion, only to whine like a puppy when it failed to show any new messages.

_Sasuke..? Please answer…_

He had texted the other boy at least three times prior and this forth time he attempted to inject the full amount of desperate need and longing he felt into every character, hoping that it would be the key to gaining the other's attention. When it once again seemed to fail, the thin thread of stubbornness he had desperately been clinging to snapped.

_Im srry. Im orry, jusplese. Please respod.._

A sob broke free from his throat as he sent the typo-filled message, abdomen contracting to pull his body into the fetal position. He shook with the power of his despair, another whine slipping from his lips. Silence… He couldn't stand silence. He couldn't stand knowing that the person he loved was upset with him and unwilling to talk. He needed his words, whatever they may be. Since he couldn't see the other boy, and Sasuke didn't like talking on the phone, he practically lived off of his written words. The lack thereof was sending him even deeper into a fit.

Another cry shook his body as Naruto stared at his phone through overflowing eyes. He was far deep into depression at this point, and his mind only brought him father down. Poisoned thoughts flitted through his head, violently informing the blonde of his worthlessness, the fact he was undeserving of love. A profound longing sprang up from his core, twisting and swirling like a smoke through his body and causing him to cling even tighter to his legs. How he wished to be held, comforted physically by caring arms. Never before had he experienced it, yet he had always longed for the feeling. He had had no mother, no father, no loving relative to care for him in his younger days. Only recently had old man Jiraiya become his guardian, though he showed little physical affection. All the hard times of his childhood was spent alone, pushed to the farthest recesses of his mind to express later in the solitude of dark corners or under blankets where his tears could not be seen. It was a habit that even now, even though he had since obtained friends he could share his grief with, he had continued.

Lips quivering, he pulled his blankets over him now, the closest thing to an embrace he was able to get.


	6. Chapter 6: Cereal

For hours Naruto had been in a sort of half-sleep, eyes open but seeing nothing, consciousness lost in the valleys of his tormented mind until the vibration of his phone brought him back out into reality. For a moment he stared at the device as he realized what was happening. Then, in a flurry of sudden movement he snatched it up, eyes hungrily staring at the screen.

_What?_

Though Naruto was truly elated at the response, in the back of his mind there was a pang of pain at the meager reply, drowned out, for the moment, but still present. His thoughts, however, were focused on his sudden relief. With trembling fingers, he ran over the keys of his phone.

_I'm sorry…_

With the sending of his reply, he waited anxiously. A glance at the small clock on his phone's screen showed it to be 2:07 a.m. He had to be up for school in a few hours. A sigh parted his lips at the realization. Another near-sleepless night, if he were lucky. How was he going to get through History? Vibrations in his hand distracted him from his wandering thoughts.

_w/e_

The response was like a cut to his heart. He could feel his eyes grow wet as his chest constricted with pain.

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry, I just… It just hurts when you lie to me, or purposely hide the truth…_

He sent the message quickly, typing what he felt without a second thought. He didn't want to fight anymore. He wanted this to be over with, for Sasuke to apologize and make up with him, perhaps tell him what really had been bothering him. Was that expecting too much?

_I'm not hiding anything._

Naruto sighed heavily with exasperation. The other boy seemed determined to keep to his story; despite the fact his boyfriend knew it to be a lie. Did he want that much to keep Naruto out of his life, out of his inner thoughts and workings? How could they possibly keep a relationship if one of them were bent on being secretive?

_Yes, you are. You don't have to lie, I already know something's wrong and you don't want to tell me… I just wish you would..._

With eyes heavy from the amount of crying he had so recently done and the extreme amount of exhaustion he had, Naruto watched as the message sent and continued to stare at his phone until an answer was received.

_sure._

The blonde blinked several times, temporarily confused.

…_Does that mean you'll tell me?_

A few minutes later he received his answer.

_no._

Another weighted sigh managed to snake past Naruto's lips. Well, at least Sasuke wasn't lying anymore, although this wasn't much of an improvement. After all, he still wasn't learning anything, only confirming what he already knew.

_Please? I can't help unless I know…_

He blankly stared at the screen for a few seconds before sending the text. He truly wanted to help the other boy with whatever was bothering him. Even if he couldn't do much… He at least wanted to try, but he couldn't do that if he wasn't told the problem.

_It's nothing._

Yeah, right, like "nothing" would really affect the other this badly? He was obviously just trying to brush it off as such to avoid explaining.

_No, it's not. It has to be something, otherwise it wouldn't upset you._

He replied with his thoughts, hoping that simple reasoning would have an effect. It didn't.

_It's really nothing…_

Sasuke was really persistent, wasn't he? But no matter. Naruto would just have to be even more stubborn.

_I don't care. I still want to know._

The text took only seconds to send, but it was quite a bit longer before a response was received.

_fine. i got in a few fights with itachi._

Sudden contentment at finally being told the truth rose through Naruto like warm air, raising his lips the slightest bit. Then at the realization of his smiling, it fell once more into a small frown. Curiosity and the urge to help filled him to the brim.

_About what?_

He hesitated before asking, wondering whether he should just drop it before Sasuke got too annoyed. But his finger slipped and it was too late; the message was sent.

_about school. god. are you happy now??_

He smiled, though the movement didn't quite reach his eyes.

_Yes, actually. Thank you. I'm sorry I got upset with you earlier._

_whatever_

Should he be happy the word was at least typed out this time? Regardless, it still grated on his nerves and he had to take a moment to calm himself before continuing.

_I am. I just hate it when you hide things. It makes me feel like you don't care enough about me to let me know. I mean, we're in a relationship, we need to communicate. It makes it feel like it's one-sided if I'm always telling you my problems but you never tell me yours. It doesn't seem fair, you know?_

His need to explain himself had led to his writing more than one message's worth of text. He briefly paused when he reached the 160 character limit, saved his text as a draft, and continued on. Once finished, he went back and sent the drafts, careful to send them in the right order and wait a period of time before sending the next so that they would not get jumbled.

_i don't want to burden you… im not worth it_

Naruto couldn't believe what he was reading. How could Sasuke possibly think that? The boy had some major self-love problems… The blond sighed before replying.

_I don't care if you burden me. Honestly, it burdens me more not knowing. And you ARE worth it._

_If you say so.._

Was it National Sigh Day? Was there a record for amount of sighs in one night? If so, he was sure by now that he had broken it.

_I do. You just need to work on being a bit more open, maybe._

_I cant._

_Why not?_

_ive tried. Ive already changed a lot. cant change anymore._

He was right--at least about the fact that he had already changed a lot. He had. Naruto's mind wandered at that thought, back to when he first met the other boy. Sasuke had been majorly introverted, caring only for his own success, his own goals, his own well-being. No one else had really mattered to him, he was so absorbed in his own world. That was, until Kakashi-sensei forced them into being lab partners. Though at first the two fought more than cooperated, eventually the mutual dislike gave way to a gradual friendship. Although Sasuke had seemed to remain the aloof, quiet person he had always been, he tolerated Naruto more than others, responding to and even starting conversations with the blonde. After the two exchanged AIM usernames, their friendship deepened. So much so that in January, a little over half a year of the two being friends, Naruto confessed his feelings. To his surprise, they were returned.

That was over two years ago. Over time, as Naruto discovered and expressed dislike for certain, various faults, Sasuke gradually began to improve. He did his best to open up and express himself. He told Naruto things he would never have told anyone else, not even his own parents, were they still alive. The blonde should feel special.

But still… it wasn't enough. He needed more.

Naruto groaned, his fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He felt… selfish for expecting more, but it couldn't be helped. He simply could _not_ last in a relationship where the other person's thoughts and feelings were closed off to him. He need closeness, the intimacy of mind. Without it, he would suffer.

_Just… try at least. S'all I can ask…_

As he sent the message, Naruto shifted to his back, setting his phone on his chest and staring at the ceiling until he was forced away from his train of thought by a reply.

_okay_

A small smile graced Naruto's lips. That was all he could ask for, that Sasuke try. A small amount of effort could make all the difference.

_Thanks._

With that, Naruto allowed his eyelids to slide soothingly down his burning eyes and the pressing darkness to envelope him in sleep.


End file.
